In interviews and guest posts around the web I’ve mentioned that I’ve been writing since I was a kidlet. Whether it was little writing assignments for school, making ‘books’ about family vacations or holidays, or plunking away on the little sky blue toy typewriter my parents got me when I was five, I’ve been making up stories for a long time.
And as I’ve been cleaning I’ve found a few of them. Sadly, a few really epic ones I remember must have gotten thrown out (Not surprising. It takes a lot to un-fire trap my room and at some point things have to go.) but I’ve found quite a few. And they are HILARIOUS. I love kids because they’re just so nutty and I was no exception. So off and on I will inflict these bits of my childhood on you (including pictures when applicable because I was also a deranged illustrator at that point in my life.) And then I’ll offer some commentary because obviously things have changed since I was five or ten.
So this one is the very first typed story I have recorded evidence for. I’m sad because I know there was at least one more where I went to great pains to describe my devastating beauty (I may have been reading a lot of Snow White at the time) but sadly that one must have gotten trashed. Oh well. And don’t worry – I can’t bring myself to type these things up as is so I’ll correct any spelling/grammar. Without further ado I bring you…
A Story of the Middle Ages
Once upon a time sometime during the middle ages there lived a dragon named Jack. He was a mean dragon who liked to eat princesses. One day a princess named Arora was running through the forest. She passed a cave which belonged to Jack . Jack grabbed Arora and said “Now I will eat you for my dinner, my fair princess!”
The next day everyone knew about the helpless princess. The king told Sir Sigamore to go and save his daughter. When Sir Sigamore reached the cave he said ‘Hit the road, Jack and set the princess free!”
Jack said “Oh yeah?! You will have to fight for your princess!”
Sir Sigamore then took his sword and killed the evil dragon. When Sir Sigamore and Arora returned to the castle they got married and they lived happily ever after.
Obviously this was before I reached my strong heroine phase…or learned about contractions. You may think that the spelling of Arora was a mistake. No…genius child that I was, I was convinced that as long as I changed like one letter of a name that no one would EVER figure out what princess/character/whatever I had in mind. There’s some awesome evidence of this later on that still kills me. Don’t ask me what/who the knight was named after…I probably listened to my father talking about the tales of King Author and was trying to make up a proper Authurian name. What I love most about this is that the WHOLE POINT of that story was the obvious pun. Ah, yes – that’s me all over. Thinkin’ I’m funnier than I really am since the age of five.