I suppose I’d better preface this with the fact that Susan and I have known each other a long time…a LONG time. We’ve had more bizarre conversations and adventures together than we can probably remember (though give us a moment and we’ll probably bring up every detail to you over a four-hour period…). I know she was really hoping I’d post this without reading it, but I also know her waaay too well to let her get away with that.
Here’s the thing…to anyone else, we will act like a normal human. We will take care with beta reading, we will gladly offer up promo ops and nudge people along. At cons we’ll gladly talk up others. We will be professional, courteous, and kind.
To each other? Hoo boy…let’s just say we’ve known each other long enough that we’re past the point of no return. Our text conversations border on falling off the edge of the earth they’re so ridiculous (and sometimes gross). We could probably freak people out sharing just how brutal we are with each other when we beta the other’s work, and have no problem emailing the other with something along the lines of WHEN THE q%#!%^$^%@^ ARE YOU GOING TO SEND ME SOMETHING FOR MY FREAKIN’ BLOG!?
Yep. That’s just how we are with each other. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Point Two, which I feel compelled to point out…we have a LOT of in jokes and there’s no way we could ever share dirt on the other without falling off the cliff, ourselves. Sometimes, though, one of us (not me) forgets that when she mentions inside jokes people might take them in a different context…as in when I jokingly refer to her as my consort (because I do), it’s a jab at Susan being an old married broad and me still the carefree, charming lass that I am…I don’t actually mean that literally because I do, in fact, like guys. I know it sounds ridiculous for me to have to mention that fact, but, well, that’s a whole other story entirely (let’s just say I do have to point out my heterosexuality every once in a while and Susan is right there to never let me forget it).
I also did NOT necessarily ban romance, I just don’t want people to lead with their bits on this blog, grumble…but SOMEONE has to twist my words around.
Beyond all that, though, Susan’s a phenomenal writer, and a darling at heart. And I’m not just sucking up because she still owes me like five freakin’ emails. In all seriousness, she’s one of the few I really love collaborating with and someone that I’m very lucky to know.
So here is S.H. Roddey talking about…well…you’ll see…(sigh)
World Domination Through the Subtle Use of Humor. And Cookies.
I made cookies. Really, I did. But this is a digital world we live in, so it isn’t easy to share. If I could, I would…I promise. I’m generous with most things. Just ask Selah… I freely share all of my thoughts with her, no matter how inane, disgusting or disturbing. It’s nice to have someone that “gets” me, y’know.
Speaking of “getting” me, I should probably explain myself a little.
My name is Susan, and I’m addicted to words. (Who knew this would turn into a Bibliophiles Anonymous meeting?) I write all manner of things – horror, fantasy, urban fantasy, and even a little bit of romance from time to time. If it catches my attention or is guaranteed to make someone (a) laugh or (b) recoil in some form of terror, I’m all in. I’m also the queen of self-deprecating humor. (I get yelled at all the time for telling people I’m really a horrible writer faking talent with the cunning use of misdirection and pretty cover art. SHUT UP, SELAH.)
I’ve been told I can’t talk about romance. That makes me want to talk about it even more, but the mean dragon lady that owns this blog won’t let me do that. If I try she might breathe fire or make me edit something.
Don’t even get me started on our adventures in editing… it’s a wonder either of us has any hair left after…well, we aren’t discussing that.
[Insert exaggerated throat-clearing and subtle side-step here.]
I’m supposed to have a point and I swear I do. (No, Selah, not the one on top of my head…there isn’t a point there. I’ve hammered that out banging my head against the wall.) My point is this: I want to take over the world, and I want to do it by entertaining people. After all, what good is having this supposed talent if I can’t use it to my advantage?
My ideas are a bit on the unconventional side. The girly part of me enjoys rainbows and unicorns as much as the next hopeless romantic, however… my werewolves aren’t cute and cuddly little boys who grow up too fast and feel the need to moon over little girls they can’t have, and my vampires are shameless, bloodsucking bastards who actually EAT PEOPLE. I like hard science fiction because I can do the impossible. And blood gets me hot.
If I combine those elements in just the right way, I might just get a little bit of attention. I suppose that means my next book is going to be about a pair of supernatural beings who ride around and eat people, but one of them needs to be some form of major scientist – maybe an astrophysicist who wants to colonize a new planet for werewolf-kind – that ends up chasing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
Or something like that.
However, until I have time to sit down and write that opus that will make me rich – you see, I’m not just a writer and Selah’s unofficial consort (Don’t look at me like that! You said it first.), but I’m also a full-time administrative scapegoat professional and a mom – I suppose I’ll just have to entertain people with the things I already have in my arsenal. One is horror. The other is urban fantasy. And there’s another one coming soon that’s sort of a demented combination of the two mixed with some fairy-tale action. Oh, and some splatterpunk.
Yeah, I’m all over the place. Sue me.
Don’t really sue me. You wouldn’t get very far because I’m your quintessential starving artist. I don’t get to make money right now because I’m just starting out and I haven’t been headhunted by an agent or publisher based on some crazy bit of fan fiction. I’m SO not that lucky.
But I promise you, I am THAT GOOD. Don’t believe me? Read for yourself…